Letter to the past

Dear Grandpa,

You were the one who gave me wonderful childhood days. Without you, I won’t be having such memorable days. My parents were always busy working then. You were the one who took care of me and did not agree with my parents that I should be put into a childcare centre.

Till today, I can remember that you used to buy me whatever I want. When mummy is not around and I crave for ice cream, you would buy it for me secretly as mummy didn’t like me to take such stuff. We will sit down together at the void deck and enjoy our ice cream together. It’s impossible to forget that your favourite ice cream is chocolate flavoured. Whenever you bring me out for a walk, you will buy toys that I like. I was really pampered by you. Also, you will always bring me to the playground, and you’ll push me when I’m on the swing. Do you remember that we used to build sandcastle together? Do you remember that you were the one who taught me how to cycle, too?

When I was 7 years old, you went over to stay with aunt due to some reasons. I cried non-stop when I knew that you were not going to take care of me anymore. I couldn’t bear to watch you leave me. I remembered that when I was crying, I kept saying, “ I want grandpa!”

As I grow up, things are not the same anymore. I don’t crave for ice cream, I don’t need toys and I don’t go to the playground. In fact, I do not see you that often anymore. My family will visit you once in a few months. We seldom spend time together. However, you are still the same. You still dote on me most. Every time I visit you, you will hand me 20 bucks and say, “go and buy whatever you want.” Sometimes, you even ask me to use the money to buy ice cream.

When I was 13 years old, aunt put you in the old folks’ home due to the stroke you had. Nobody is able to take care of you. Although I really do object the idea of putting you there, there was nothing I could do.

Today, you are still in the old folks’ home. However, you can neither hear nor talk to me anymore. I realise that for these 17 years of my life, I have never ever said “I love you” to you before. Now that I want to say to you, you can’t hear me. Now that I want to talk to you, you can’t. Whenever I visit you, I feel really remorseful for not spending more time with you. I regret not treasuring you when you were all so fine.

Now, in this letter, what I want to say to you is, “I love you. Thank you and I’m sorry.” I love you for being who you are. Thank you for all that you’ve provided me, for all the love you’ve showered on me. Lastly, I’m sorry for failing as a good granddaughter who did not spend more time with you and visit you more often. From all these, I learnt how to treasure people who are still around. Once they are gone, it’s forever.

1. 

   prediera Said:

   on 24/11/2009 at 13:10

   What a beautiful testimony to a life well lived.

   I grieve and rejoice alongside you. I can say with all sincerity that I understand what you are going through.

   bless you.

   Reply
2. 

   theredpants Said:

   on 22/12/2009 at 07:02

   Very well written letter – the incidents are detailed and the change in you is evident from who you were then to who you are now. Good work!

   Reply

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